Inking My Life on Paper

 Life never follows a linear path or inclination, it struggles to navigate through potholes.  Essentially, We create subjects in this objective world. Isn't? An object say XYZ can be either perceived as a gold or just an object without helping a man to move from one place to other like a motorbike. For me, It is always to grow, I can ignore the party scenes, an important movie to watch, or a social gathering for fun. Because I have created stories in my mind about the career. It is definitely important but sadly it is less important that thinking about the self who creates the illusion of objective reality to a strict subjective career goal. What would the society speak about this actor, Who is not keeping the trend of highly luxurious lifestyle? A latent fear has developed inside the actor's brain, This fear is about elimination of his respect in the society, in the image of actor's parents and close associates. The actor feels so much pressure inside, working day and nigh...

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For the past few days, I have been thinking about some of our renowned, brave kings, like Shivaji Maharaj and Sambhaji Maharaj. I took a keen interest in these figures and loved learning about their history—all of which happened after I watched the Bollywood movie Chhava . Similarly, my interest in space was ignited, and I became curious about how the Dragon capsule works, the ISS, life in space shuttles, and much more. Hence, I learned one thing: the more you hustle and the more colors you add to your sketch, the stronger it will turn out. Similarly, my interest in space was ignited, and I became curious about how the Dragon capsule works, the ISS, life in space shuttles, and much more. Hence, I learned one thing: the more you hustle and the more colors you add to your sketch, the stronger it will turn out.

It has been a long time since I wrote something here. The reasons are unknown. Sometimes, I try to ensure everything around me is organized and that there is no deficiency in my lifestyle. I purchase everything I need to make life easier. The irony is that even after setting things right on the outside, there is still chaos within. At times, I do things that go against my principles, and it makes me feel weak. This cycle of highs and lows takes a toll on me. this weirdo is here I believe in myself. I know this is a challenging phase, but I love challenges—at least, that’s what I tell myself. I remind myself to embrace them and be grateful. The Almighty knows everything. I have strange habits sometimes, like suddenly ordering food late at night or sleeping excessively. Sometimes, I indulge in unnecessary shopping, while at other times, I feel indifferent to everything. Despite everything, I occasionally find myself revisiting old memories, triggering my past neural patterns, getting cau...

Yes, my readers. I am grateful to you that you spare sometime to read my life blogs. Since nothing is hidden from you and I wanted to share you that.. I broke down, recently. Any object in this universe comes with an expiry date. So was my emotions. I broke down so badly and I isolated myself. I brought books closer to me and started identifying my patterns in the lines of the book. I smiled, cried and expressed all emotions while reading it. I introspected. I found a better right path which probably my friend circle wouldn't have taught me. Then I realised sometimes we live so fastly that we never stop to realise who we are and what are we doing? I am grateful and I am working towards my goal. No matter how difficult it might get but I'll promise that I'll never stop doubting my true intentions.

Being a human and walking in a forest, energizing in the sunrise and happy during the sunset. Being a human, enjoying his moment, throwing pebble into the river, talking to the sparrow and playing in the mud. Being a human, devoid of any materialistic pleasure of the world, the most happiest individual, where his skin shines and the heart speaks the truth. Being a human, who believes in the god, prays for his family and feed the minors. A human who is connected to the earth, who has abundance of vegetable land and eats organic. - It's the dream of myself to understand how far we have come from the reality.

At my age, I feel that I am still the same as everyone. But I never wanted to be everyone, but something else. I couldn't dare to become that one.  I felt easier to become a part of society. When I sit with myself and then I ask - None of them are beside you but only 'YOU' with a very limited set of people who look after you when you're imprisoned in a flat covered with walls, where the density of population is high but they are separated by boundries of the flats and rooms. Life had never been imagined in this way, a person struggling to earn money by working hard and then enjoying little time with himself and very few people asking about him. Sometimes, I think about few of the questions which are always unresolved. The intent is to remain peaceful and enjoy serenity with self and people around, where the mouth utters world of divine Radharani and soul gets pure. To spread love inside and outside, happy with whatever is blessed, happy with few people and have a tenden...

I bet most of us are not us but something else. Like a rose, it never understood it.  It valued the definitions, as soon as it bloomed, it started following his duties.  It saw his universe in garden. It saw his meaning through the lense of other flowers. It never asked the bees the right question. The rose never knew it's identity, even the name is an external attribute, the aroma it had, it was pleasurable and an attribute defined by society. Probably the aroma has a meaning which rose never could understand - it probably meant that the smell is a sort of energy that can change the universe if it is enhaled by certain species.

A house inside my soul experiences storm inside and it conveys me - Hey, I need help. Please fix me. To the reply, I never figure it out myself and give a resolution plan to it. I say hey- There's nothing I can do, It's a choice that I make myself a victim of the adverse situation. The life gets so overwhelming, I feel a deep sense of loss, Loss of my version, Loss of my truest self.  A cloud of overthinking fills me up. I feel heavy and void. I feel horrible. I feel the sense of fear.  There's a lot I can do but I choose to stay in this situation.  I feel despair, But I say - Hey, Let's walk, Proceed, Breathe.  Let's just live.

Sometimes I ask myself - Why do I get sad sometimes? I think about the vibrations , my vibrations in the past. I think about the vibrations, a low ones, probably due to a difficult day which lowers the confidence. I think about my vibrations, a terrible one in the past and which I never want to feel it. I think about all the outer things which should be perfect and if that's not the case then I find myself low. The lower energies are because - I fail. I lose. I fail to accept the changing things around.

Under an umbrella lie food particles, a few stones, a piece of technology, a few caps, pencils, and toys. The ants are roaming here, there, and everywhere, adorning themselves with accessories they can afford. To sustain their empire, they load huge bulks of comparatively expensive items to offer to their lord, enabling the growth of their colony. They consume those food particles, their dreams confined to this universe. It’s a cycle they perform, a legacy they leave for their descendants to follow, and this lifecycle continues. All of us are ants. Feel it. Only a few ants are special—those who break the chain, walk aside, and begin digging deep, questioning the why, how, and countless other whys. Everyone is destined to die, but this ant seeks something that fuels his discovery.

 Hello, Day 22 of my feelings on paper. It was a difficult day at office, I realised that people sitting on the top levels are concerned about how to maximize the profit, how to exploit the resources to receive more and more.  I realised that this digital world at times treat humans as bots, as it is rightly said that the millennials never know how sensitive are the hands behind the keyboard , who work day and night to earn for their livelihood. The life at this point is running in a path which is ideal for the society, we are supposed to fit in that socket.  As you're fresh out of college, you're meant to slog all the day for office and earn. This is what our forefathers did. This is how the current civilization is doing. Running behind the monthly salary, buying out all the things to look extraordinary without knowing everything is temporary as your spirit. The completeness we feel is when we know why are we here? Why we are doing? What we are doing? How long we will be...

 Hi, Day 21. I sat with myself, reminiscing old version of mine, a bold boy filled with a heart. Creative writing, bringing people in his world of imagination, he used to speak to people about how much is he blessed. A concrete talent, the amalgamation of his vivid imagination and tendency to associate natural resources with a different perspective of life. His words helped him survive the toughest days, sitting in a chai wala lane and grabbing tea in his hands in the chilliest days. The words were typed at a faster pace, so that intrusion of mind can be eliminated and unfiltered emotions can be reflected in his personal notes. The why me, why is this so excruciating, the pain of losing the loved ones and that too walking on the streets without somebody to talk with. The words were his power. The words helped him survive the toughest days. Whether a storm or a sunlight, the goofy emotions had only one way. Time gradually passed. The self declared writer reached his mid 20s. He felt...

 I have a tendency to write based on my knowledge and apologies if you find it irrelevant. The prime question is - Why do we love to date opposite genders? - Most of the times the couple or the two subjects change their places and meet in a different ecosystem. - They try to make the date special by having dinner, probably create memories, making promises, sparing time for each other and simply enjoying the moment. - The trend nowadays - They would click pictures and get a socially accepted tick in their friend zones that they ain't behind the cool trends. - They feel they are important, they are loved , they are heard and they deserve the love from the special opposite genders. ( Who does not like getting prioritised). That's how the day of V spent. He is in the discovery of his TS.  - I stepped away from the regular place where he spends most of his time with electronic gadgets for his survival and entertainment. - I took a pause and saw humans outside. The inner human is st...

 Day 14 I am having major setbacks in life. Although I can't go personal but sometimes I see that there's a lot inside. V is really far from his TS. He sometimes enjoys his core but then all of a sudden he realizes that during the past times he had no distinct boundaries with core and hence his TS never came into picture.  He wants to replenish his core but then he realizes he will forget his TS. Without TS there is no existence for VS.

Ever wondered why do we work so hard? What is 1 purpoe that drives you to wake in the morning get up and start doing office work? The 10+ hours you put everyday of your life? Is that you wanted or just doing it for no reason? Being a purpose is important, the one purpose that defines you, that ignites you, the dream you had shaped when you were a child. Life is not a punishment, its a gift, knowing the purpose will help you get up early and help you pamper yourself. have you ever thought why do you want to stay healthy or fit? because you have strong dreams and passion in your eyes. you want to live for that passion and dream. it can be anything but 1 purpose is required. That would require a strong mindset , youll have to face hurdles on the way, youll fall down, you'll face rejections, people will walk away, sometimes youll vibrate in a different energy zone and sometimes said that you'll be the star who will shine irrespective of what others are doing. The energy for t...

I hardly speak, I accumulate, I walk out leaving my mind, soul and spirit say it as my Core. I explore things which are against the will of my Core and say this state as a “Diverted core”. There is a core my truest nature, then a Diversified core 1 which slightly moves from the core and does things to make sure the human say V enjoys a state of freedom with his folks and his core is maintained. His DC1 and core walks hand in hand. Although core is what makes him. Core defines him. Core builds him.  Core gives him a purpose. The V doesn’t want his core to know everything about DC1 and not at all wants to talk about core to anyone. The core slightly pushes the IC(Inner core family) to make him feel independent. He also slides Core so that he can enjoy with his DC1. He shares his happiness with DC1 and source of his happiness is Core. Slowly he identifies that Core which defines his truly self has some issues because at one time he finds that his true self is fatigued and he wants to ...

Nothing much to explain. It's difficult today. I'll try again, this time with a different strategy.

This year seem to me a bit challenging. I said it one day that "I love challenges" It means I'm evolving in this year mentally, physically and emotionally. This year is bringing joy, happiness and enrichment in my life. I would never let my close people feel down and I'll fight till the end.

 No idea where it is taking me to. I am doing what makes me neutral. It’s an opposing force, but I’m okay with it. Regards, Vivek

I am still figuring my right picture. I'm surprised by how much intense I get sometimes, related to work, sleep, thoughts etc. This is just the 5th day of month (New year) but seems like a bit difficult but I trust myself that I'll fight, I'll find some meaning if not sooner then someday for sure. -Vivek

I'm improving. I'm healthy. I'm mindful.

Whenever the problems arise, I enclose myself in a cocoon. No matter it is a sunrise or a sunset. No matter how tougher it gets. No matter who listens to me. No matter who stays. Sustaining on a human-crisis, slogging for the day,eating whatever the heart desires, shopping anything in the budget, fighting for the validation, Understanding the basics. Talking less over phones, searching for the human to convey something hidden, unfortunately the message doesn't come out. It's not that I didn't start telling things but there wasn't a solution in their words. Louder is the agony, silent is the exterior, in a venom of thoughts, it searches for a waterfall, a place to wander by, enough to survive and roam. That's how life has helped me evolve.  I have lost the taste in writing because I have changed. I'm returning to basics. The environment has changed but I still feel myself in one corner of my dark existence.

 Today is my second post in this year 2025. I didn't promise this year to do things  wise fully.  The core reason is that I have understood that I work in waves. Sometimes I am on a top rise wave sometimes very neutral and then I am very low.  As I am growing up , I have walked through a pavement in order to find the external validations, so that I would get a sense of love and respect from people, Same moment I realise that who is going to judge me?  The world where I stay in and the world where I work is so vacant. The flower that was growing in the garden wished for water to thrive, The heart and the important organs needed water and food, The home, The kitchen and the hall - everyone wanted me, The major stakeholder who was me - He was under a guilt trip that he is left without any living elements in his horizon, He made his world dark although knowing the consequences can get so troublesome. People adorn themselves with all love and affection , While I was ...

 Today, I am grateful, I am happy and I look good. Hi, I am Vivek Sunny, Today is the 1st day of the year 2025, I am so happy to share that I have been gifted with this life, where the god has given me everything what I dreamt of during my childhood. I was always a curious, doubtful and sincere child. However, I had been bullied by classmates and sometimes my teacher would not like the nature because I used to ask questions. Sometimes my questions used to be wrong instead of the right one, but eventually I could learn it. I had a passion of learning and making intellectual friends. I was blessed to have intellectual friends along my way. I am 28+ now. I am working in one of the biggest firm and I am so much proud of myself. I love how I have travelled so far. I love how I see myself growing.  I also believe that one day I will fulfil my dreams, I would always love to make my parents feel proud of themselves. I appreciate their dedications and sacrifice. I would like to journal...