The difficult present and the noisy past

Today, while I am in bed thinking of sleeping,

I find my thoughts wandering.

I reiterate—there’s no going back.

I am on a new journey, I convince myself.

However, I am a prisoner of my own mind. 

It loves to be caged. It loves to be excruciated⁠, 

because it finds someone there accompanying me.

The moment I sleep, when I am tamed by the bars of the cage, I start thinking—

I became a version of myself as if it were time travel. I suddenly start smiling; my innocence is fragile, and I left the world for someone to call me her own.

Heavy rain on the rooftop, the sound of a train passing by making a "chooh-chooh" sound, an owl sitting on the trees, and lights slowly turning off in the hostel building—I was smiling, bestowing love upon everything and laughing at her laugh.

The only difference I never imagined—the reality of the story—that time would ever get imprinted on the memory lane of my life.

A token of determination

 A token of strong determination towards self-

Let the world pull me down, I recite the name of god and say - forgive my forefathers but I trust you.

I’ll never let me down.

Give me lord, The power to recite your name. 

To give me the purity in my thoughts and actions to never hurt anyone’s sentiments.

Bless me with your diving aura to become kinder and sweet.

I’ll always trust and struggle. I’d never step back. I’ll fight for the right and stay curious.

I never wish that you come back

On a cold season, my soul was searching for warmth—
the same warmth it once found in the winter with her.
The unparalleled laughter and my unending stories,

to every logical statement for which I had no answers.

Still, I was smiling, adoring the bond,
participating in the battle of Q&As,
randomly fighting over the special food we ordered,
from the naughty play to a lifetime of memories.

To the one who was never an actor in my life,
to the one who was the page I would never want to read again,

the only thing I cherish is the occurrence—
but sadly,
I would never wish to come back.