Am I doing enough?

 I have not been able to take a deep nap from last 2 weeks.

This night - I told myself ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

What is bothering?

You are doing just decent - what is the issue now?

I told - I miss my parents, without staying with them nothing feels luxurious to me.

My insecurities- Am I doing exceptional? I was born to be.

Ain’t we running? There is a missing piece saying you can’t afford to stay in the village style big home - all enough to stay luxurious and prove your achievement.

But what is the point of it?

Where are we running?

Broken pieces, shattered dreams, unfulfilled desire to rule and stay courageous all at same time.

This keeps me awake.

This creates question- Am I doing enough?

The difficult present and the noisy past

Today, while I am in bed thinking of sleeping,

I find my thoughts wandering.

I reiterate—there’s no going back.

I am on a new journey, I convince myself.

However, I am a prisoner of my own mind. 

It loves to be caged. It loves to be excruciated⁠, 

because it finds someone there accompanying me.

The moment I sleep, when I am tamed by the bars of the cage, I start thinking—

I became a version of myself as if it were time travel. I suddenly start smiling; my innocence is fragile, and I left the world for someone to call me her own.

Heavy rain on the rooftop, the sound of a train passing by making a "chooh-chooh" sound, an owl sitting on the trees, and lights slowly turning off in the hostel building—I was smiling, bestowing love upon everything and laughing at her laugh.

The only difference I never imagined—the reality of the story—that time would ever get imprinted on the memory lane of my life.

A token of determination

 A token of strong determination towards self-

Let the world pull me down, I recite the name of god and say - forgive my forefathers but I trust you.

I’ll never let me down.

Give me lord, The power to recite your name. 

To give me the purity in my thoughts and actions to never hurt anyone’s sentiments.

Bless me with your diving aura to become kinder and sweet.

I’ll always trust and struggle. I’d never step back. I’ll fight for the right and stay curious.