Who told - I don’t cry, I don’t grieve
The moment we met for the first time,
I wanted to surprise you,
That’s why - I covered you in my arms, You looked surprised, your eyes were full of love
The moment when I look at our old pictures - I smile, I cry and I let it go.
I let my version flow outwards,
I let myself survive through whatever I am.
A deep sorrow sits.
A heaviness.
It speaks violently inside.
2.05 am at midnight. I asked.
It made me trembling, why there’s so much noise?
Long back, my raw tiny self was crying in silence.
To the most important person when it asked why not me?
She to me - I am worthless.
My tiny self lost its home.
It cried. Wept.
Took a promise that it will survive somehow but keep proving, demanding justice and hoping.
Asking god and reassuring it was worthy.
It still cries for itself, deep down its a wound, the human still lives inside taking care of the self promise.
1:46 am IST.
Mid of the night.
I scrolled at your profile.
There’s something left inside me - I see you. I smile at myself. Little possessive. Little protective.
The question for me is - Why again? Why ?
I don’t speak in return for this question.
Whatever small affection and childish feelings remain - I cherish it.
In return I don’t expect anything.
Few months back - I used to.
I felt that a miracle will come.
I believe in supernatural power.
But not now- probably I have become so feeble and tired.
It was a great time. No?
The level of dedication and commitment for her was incredible.
But today I see myself as a grown man who turns out to be a gentle human.