I am a human too - I also search for the life

 1:46 am IST.

Mid of the night. 

I scrolled at your profile.

There’s something left inside me - I see you. I smile at myself. Little possessive. Little protective.

The question for me is - Why again? Why ?

I don’t speak in return for this question.

Whatever small affection and childish feelings remain - I cherish it.

In return I don’t expect anything.

Few months back - I used to.

I felt that a miracle will come.

I believe in supernatural power.

But not now- probably I have become so feeble and tired.

It was a great time. No?

The level of dedication and commitment for her was incredible.

But today I see myself as a grown man who turns out to be a gentle human.

You - when I look at my google photos

 8:31 pm | 13th May 2026

I have always been very careful about Google photos.

I don’t open it.

Reason?

It has my memories sweet and painful.

Painful because it includes us.

Your smile, our conversations and your vision.

It cheers me up. 

But I have taken a strong step - when someone at my door  put her everything to wake me up - from the dream, from the desire and from everything that bind us.

I feel a vacuum but slowly trying to love my lost parts if I can else I will fill up with my other half who believed in me.

In our neighbourhood

 In our neighbourhood - 

Birds chirp and I get up very early morning

I feel fresh.

I find fresh air, wind and life.

Life is so perfect in the imperfections.

I feel it - at times. Not as perfect.

A few years back - in my neighbourhood ward - 

You were present.

I couldn’t find the ecstasy and was mingled in my own atmosphere.

Today - I regret.

The neighbourhood is not as same as it used to be.

The planets are far from each other now.

But - we would. I would and I will meet you in some horizon.

Horrendous waves of violence

Unpleasant weather - sometimes cold breeze inside hall.

Laying on the mattress - my jijaji purchased a few days back.

12.04 am night.

After scrolling reels for hours. I took a pause. 

I felt vacuum all of a sudden.

Felt alone.

Googled someone. 

Opened her profile - 1 follower increased. 1 post added.

I quickly affirmed I know that 1 recent post.

It is added to her another public account too. I follow it. I know it. That is my narrow strait to spy.

Must be wrong to do. Definitely wrong to infiltrate someone’s privacy.

Simultaneously - a fire inside.

I am not doing enough.

I need to accelerate.

Prove?

Prove that I was capable. I am capable. 

Probably, trying to hurt.

Probably telling that you lost a gem.

Probably never telling myself - I lost myself on the way while trying to insert a feeling of regret to someone.

There’s no profit for any of them.

Accept.

Accept 

And 

Just live.