Hello Readers, I pause to reflect on my day here, Sharing the insights of my life. Love and peace, Vivek
Hello, Day 22 of my feelings on paper.
It was a difficult day at office, I realised that people sitting on the top levels are concerned about how to maximize the profit, how to exploit the resources to receive more and more.
I realised that this digital world at times treat humans as bots, as it is rightly said that the millennials never know how sensitive are the hands behind the keyboard , who work day and night to earn for their livelihood.
The life at this point is running in a path which is ideal for the society, we are supposed to fit in that socket.
As you're fresh out of college, you're meant to slog all the day for office and earn. This is what our forefathers did. This is how the current civilization is doing. Running behind the monthly salary, buying out all the things to look extraordinary without knowing everything is temporary as your spirit.
The completeness we feel is when we know why are we here? Why we are doing? What we are doing? How long we will be doing?
And then questions to ourselves like?
Are you happy for the process you're doing everything?
or
You are just happy because you fit into the society and feel confident that you earn money?
Life is a maze, we sometimes forget to solve and understand, we just keep solving worldly problems and die one day.
Hi,
Day 21.
I sat with myself, reminiscing old version of mine, a bold boy filled with a heart.
Creative writing, bringing people in his world of imagination, he used to speak to people about how much is he blessed.
A concrete talent, the amalgamation of his vivid imagination and tendency to associate natural resources with a different perspective of life.
His words helped him survive the toughest days, sitting in a chai wala lane and grabbing tea in his hands in the chilliest days.
The words were typed at a faster pace, so that intrusion of mind can be eliminated and unfiltered emotions can be reflected in his personal notes.
The why me, why is this so excruciating, the pain of losing the loved ones and that too walking on the streets without somebody to talk with.
The words were his power. The words helped him survive the toughest days.
Whether a storm or a sunlight, the goofy emotions had only one way.
Time gradually passed.
The self declared writer reached his mid 20s.
He felt so void at times, probably from his childhood days that he would never be gifted with anyone to express his thoughts, but he always wanted that subject in his life.
In order to fulfill a desire to make social connections, he projected himself by saying how creative he is, in terms of writing.
He wanted people to understand his worth, his presence as divine. Whether he was empty or filled I am not sure but he was definitely looking to have a validation from outside that he is worthy.
He does that today as well (Separate matter).
The climate , this time was favourable. He was gifted with a friend who could read something which I doubted sometimes.
There's a reason why.
I might have felt that this projection worked in her case and she might be looking at it like - hell yeah this has got some crazy skill.
Deep inside, I felt soothing. Well I got somebody who knows that I have a skill. I can speak from words not necessarily always real time mouth stuffs.
Some core skills were acknowledged. I gained a confidence by inspecting oh yeah. I stand better than people around that's why I am chosen and I have a friend. I developed ego.
Whenever I used to write, I used to sit with pride. Nobody can write like me. I can really understand Shakespeare. I am that kind of crazy folk.
The confidence soar higher. As I grew older and surpassing my mid 20s, I felt that I have this confidence and I can speak louder in public, I can stand in a college election and was selected as a magazine secretary.
The confidence soared highest. Now at this moment I felt that I am in cloud nine.
The nature knows when they can throw me down. At one point of time in my life and I observed that I don't exercise my skill well, the college ended, no jobs in hand and the most prominent the friend who believed in me had to seperate out for some reasons and I was left alone, couldn't get the validations, I couldn't take the support of words this time.
Why not that time?
All the college days, For the first time in life I believed to have someone who acknowledged my creative skills and boosted my confidence, I understood why do I exist. I really took the art for granted and left writing and that habit turned out pretty bad.
During my worst, I stopped writing at all, I stopped everything that would help me regain the lost confidence.
I survived somehow but then I realized how does that ego takes a toll.
Now that I have started writing again, I feel that my truest self is a bit under the weather. I am touching him very gently saying hey I am sorry, I try to cry sometimes by saying hey Forgive me.
I will start it and no matter what. I'll do.
Probably this time, just for me.
- Vivek
I have a tendency to write based on my knowledge and apologies if you find it irrelevant.
The prime question is -
Why do we love to date opposite genders?
- Most of the times the couple or the two subjects change their places and meet in a different ecosystem.
- They try to make the date special by having dinner, probably create memories, making promises, sparing time for each other and simply enjoying the moment.
- The trend nowadays - They would click pictures and get a socially accepted tick in their friend zones that they ain't behind the cool trends.
- They feel they are important, they are loved , they are heard and they deserve the love from the special opposite genders. ( Who does not like getting prioritised).
That's how the day of V spent. He is in the discovery of his TS.
- I stepped away from the regular place where he spends most of his time with electronic gadgets for his survival and entertainment.
- I took a pause and saw humans outside. The inner human is still compromised a bit but still the inner one is feeling nicer.
- In order to feed the truest self TS with positive energy, Couldn't get the best thing outside but the KFC was a medium to bring the TS closer.
TS needs to become dominant anyway, what if it becomes the newest core. It will win the world.
- Clicked few pictures to accept the truest self. Searched ways to make the TS feel special about this day.
- Started writing when it felt. Knowing that TS will be truly happy, TS loves to find me writing.
- I am not alone. The truest self is with me.
Hence, this date is successful today!
-
I hardly speak, I accumulate, I walk out leaving my mind, soul and spirit say it as my Core.
I explore things which are against the will of my Core and say this state as a “Diverted core”.
There is a core my truest nature, then a Diversified core 1 which slightly moves from the core and does things to make sure the human say V enjoys a state of freedom with his folks and his core is maintained.
His DC1 and core walks hand in hand.
Although core is what makes him.
Core defines him.
Core builds him.
Core gives him a purpose.
The V doesn’t want his core to know everything about DC1 and not at all wants to talk about core to anyone.
The core slightly pushes the IC(Inner core family) to make him feel independent.
He also slides Core so that he can enjoy with his DC1.
He shares his happiness with DC1 and source of his happiness is Core.
Slowly he identifies that Core which defines his truly self has some issues because at one time he finds that his true self is fatigued and he wants to solve this issue by meeting with DC1 so that he gets better and then come back to core.
However core and DC1 doesn’t perform better in unison and truest self equivalent to core separates apart.
The V sees his truest self unworthy, the confidence, the look, the money, the fame, the smile degrades.
V is empty without truest self without his core.
Core separates out, Core gets a promotion, core improves in the life, core gets a shine.
V sees his truest self vacant. He withdraws himself from DC1, IC.
The V takes a shape of untruest self (V forgots his truest self, he ignores the DC1, IC) he misses his truest self adorned with core , he never get a chance to connect with core. It feels empty and walk towards UTS (untruest self).
Negative as hell, full of degradation.
His truest self on a point when it was syncing with Core had a maximum of 10 values has been downgraded to -10 during untruest self. He withdrew from Truest self(TS),DC1,IC and becomes UTS.
One fine day V wanted to cry for life so he thought to fill his truest self with Core but he faced rejection. He struggled to improve his truest self without core by adding values so that it can reach 10 with his accomplishments and good routine and he reached 10.
Truest self with self improved truest self (TSWI) and core came into picture.
TSWI and Core was a deadly combination.
V had TSWI and Core.
What else will he need ?
He soon realised his dark UTS when core got their TS in life and it made him an UTS.
He felt miserable and cried.
The core changed.
The TS again felt Core is not understanding his V.
TS felt he has no DC1 and IC.
TS was scared of UTS.
TS felt he could maintain TSWI and meanwhile he wanted to make sure CORE gets permanently embedded but core had different priorities.
TS was scared, frightened, unsure and he never wanted to see his UTS.
He still wants to meet his TS and walks by to check if core is there.
Core went to a different planet leaving the V to UTS and he is hanging in -10 and he dreams to become his TSWI.
No idea where it is taking me to.
I am doing what makes me neutral.
It’s an opposing force, but I’m okay with it.
Regards,
Vivek
Today is my second post in this year 2025. I didn't promise this year to do things wise fully. The core reason is that I have understood that I work in waves. Sometimes I am on a top rise wave sometimes very neutral and then I am very low.
As I am growing up , I have walked through a pavement in order to find the external validations, so that I would get a sense of love and respect from people, Same moment I realise that who is going to judge me?
The world where I stay in and the world where I work is so vacant.
The flower that was growing in the garden wished for water to thrive, The heart and the important organs needed water and food, The home, The kitchen and the hall - everyone wanted me, The major stakeholder who was me - He was under a guilt trip that he is left without any living elements in his horizon, He made his world dark although knowing the consequences can get so troublesome.
People adorn themselves with all love and affection , While I was running behind validations. The inner world of mine still needs approval, Why can't I accept myself for what I am.
Being true to myself and in case of any cruelties why can't I step outside to have some break. Probably a break for myself to understand myself more.
That's all -
Vivek!
Today, I am grateful, I am happy and I look good.
Hi, I am Vivek Sunny, Today is the 1st day of the year 2025, I am so happy to share that I have been gifted with this life, where the god has given me everything what I dreamt of during my childhood.
I was always a curious, doubtful and sincere child. However, I had been bullied by classmates and sometimes my teacher would not like the nature because I used to ask questions.
Sometimes my questions used to be wrong instead of the right one, but eventually I could learn it.
I had a passion of learning and making intellectual friends. I was blessed to have intellectual friends along my way.
I am 28+ now. I am working in one of the biggest firm and I am so much proud of myself. I love how I have travelled so far. I love how I see myself growing.
I also believe that one day I will fulfil my dreams, I would always love to make my parents feel proud of themselves. I appreciate their dedications and sacrifice.
I would like to journal here, I want to witness how things go along in this 2025.
Shree Radhe!
- Vivek
Manoj Kumar Passes Away at 87 – Tribute to Bharat Kumar Legendary Actor Manoj Kumar Passes Away at 87 – A Tribu...
