Why did the wind break me down?

There is a shift in how I behave. I remember my intrinsic shade. 

I am a very common star in the universe, a general human. 

I have the characteristics of humans in the world and those are programmed humans. 

However, The logic breaks in the structure. I sometimes sit alone. 

I remember everything. All the smallest elementary components that united me. 

I feel that I am a broken piece. I am still not in the compound structure. 

I sit alone to find myself overwhelmed. I have surplus emotions to process and then I tend to write. 

I feel the deep scratches, I try to cultivate the wounds, I feel like adding my thoughts to the same. 

This wouldn't become the compound in this lifetime. The reason is that I am left in my elementary, most foundational state. 

I believe, the nature gifted me with this state. 

I feel deep sorry about myself who could never write what he always wanted, because he could never sit with himself. 

All what he spent his time was with a reflection of the compound who left his physical state in his vicinity. 

I change my state - The new state separates myself. I am left in a state where I am neither me nor anyone else. 

It's tough to energize in an universe which doesn't include anything but it's a core of survival, it's a core of validation and it's a phase of proving to the world that I am in a rat race. 

I left all my reflection on a sheet of paper that nature took it away with its strong wind. I couldn't sit alone with self - the loss of losing the reflection hurt me the most. 

I rather chose to hop into a world which doesn't care about emotions. It's a programmatic world. 

Sometimes, The wind blows, touches me and reminds me of the loss and the gains. 

The only gain is to appreciate the growth of my other lost element. 

The intellect, the smile, the boldness, the independence and the skins - I held everything so compactly within myself and now each of these entities touch me, the wind is the trigger. 

How can I blame the wind? 

How can I blame the nature? 

Arguing with them by shedding tears that why did you bring that elementary unit to my life? 

Would it make sense? 

No. Never. 

All I have to do is to live with it.