Inking My Life on Paper

Hello Readers, I am grateful today. The reason is that I breathe in and out; life is present. I have my family, a job for survival, and food to eat. In fact, I have more things to make my life easier than required. But what keeps me away from my real self is a grey matter, which I could not discover. There is a hollow room, very vacant, and it demands more from me. The success that I find today gets devalued because I want to prove myself.  That is probably a version of me trying to prove every day that I exist, I deserve, I possess the caliber. I don’t have much to speak today. Thanks for staying with my heart-written lines.

 The cold has hit already, However the summer takes a toll during the day time. The festive seasons along with some family functions are few of the primary reasons that I need to attend and give a foundational support. The heart aches sometimes-out of no reasons. While I was laying down on the bed, I felt a deep scar it wasn't healed properly.  I allowed myself to feel the ache. I wanted to shed tears but it was dried up. In the same planet there lives a man and a person whom he called as a friend. But the planet in my destiny is so barren now in the absence of that friend. I feel so hollow few of the times. Where has those ecosystems gone? Those evergreen plants that were nurturing? Those tiny creatures in my planet and the unlimited natural aroma of my existence. Why does someone build expectations and water the planet - when one day the plant has to die and their season comes to an end. Continued likely in the future. - Vivek.

Note - This is not written here to justify the correctness of grammar or providing the content to the readers but a reflection to myself. I'm growing up at every passing second. I'm fighting for something at every passing second. The fight is for shine. The fight is for respect and money. The fight is for intellectuals. Leaving behind the gentle arc of my innocence, trust for the people and various other things. I'll grown up seeing my inner self struggling, feeling shameful, abandoned, insulted, beaten,cheated, rejected and what not. But this is not what looks like - because my inner self has dreamt of not seeing the world like that , the versions that I create, the subjective dreams that I set were disposed off. Growing up that I've learnt that life is not a straight path from A to B, but it has several A1,A2 or maybe A1.1.1 nobody knows. But that's okay. Because of what I have been made to feel is not what I am. I am a power born to create, lead and stand. I am a

Hello,  Thanks for being there for last 3 months.  I am looking forward for a break from Journals.  If there comes something new, I'll post here.  Namo buddhay,  Vivek

Hey,  Nothing special today.  Life isn't always on elevated side.  Sometimes it's just static.  I'll be coming up with new strategies soon.  Bear with me,  Vivek. 

Hello people,  It's been days since I have followed any regimes.  It's been years since I wrote something out of me.  I figured out either I write something and follow it or I go with an auto pilot.  But am I doing the things?  or is it situation?  Suppose work came and I'm doing it. Suppose I'm hungry and eating food.  or is it a sequence of steps? A defined set of food, or exercise and what not?  Reframing the question to?  Am I mindful enough at present what needs to be done and reflect the journey?  I'm just writing a journal?  But the basic law is not done.  Its a guest feeling not a permanent feeling to stay in this situation which is totally unproductive.  Health.  Knowledge.  Goal.  Wealth.  Relationships.  Travel.  are priorities.  These are not moving with time.  Anyways its too late,  Goodnight!  Namo buddhay,  Vivek